Monday, July 18, 2011

Beware the Cat (A Fake Tale of Feline Brutality)

I saw a sleeping cat once
Back when I was a child.
My limbs all started tremblin'
For kitty cat was wild.
When given the occasion
He'd grab his pound of flesh
In slashy little increments
And make my skin like mesh.
It paid to show some caution
And tread with feather care
Or better yet, to stay quite still
In hopes that I'd be spared.


Gino said...


Night Writer said...

When the girls were younger and we were living in the last house we had Felix, the dapper assassin-cat. One night he crouched under a table near the hallway that led to the bedrooms.

First, my youngest walked down the hall to bed. It was run, swipe, "Wah!". A little later, my oldest daughter walked down the hall to bed. Run, swipe, "Owie!" A bit later my wife walked down the hall to bed. Run, swipe, "Stupid cat!"

When it was my turn to go down the hall I listened to the rapid approach of little cat feet, then turned suddenly, stooped down and spread my arms wide, shouting, "What?"

Felix hit the front brakes, causing the rest of his body to accordion-fold behind him like a cartoon. Then he acted as if he suddenly rememembered he had an appointment elsewhere.

W.B. Picklesworth said...

His claws would have been the least of my worries. He would have been, "Felix the Danderball."


Exactly how I felt about cats when I was younger... maybe it explains my dislike for them. ;)