Tuesday, January 31, 2012

The Ol' Snippety-Snip

Amos the kitty was absent last night,
A-gittin' his testicles "done."
Seems he was fightin' and comin' up short;
Well now he just won't have a son.


We had to take him in for the second time in just over a month for a wound that left him unable to put weight on a leg.  The vet told me that the ol' snippety-snip should take care of the fighting thing, so Amos is "gittin' 'er done."

The intention was to spend no money on this cat.  It seems I am a weak-willed softie.  So help me, if he wants cosmetic surgery I will say NO!

Monday, January 30, 2012

Implicit: (Potent Toots)

When baby don't poop
Ain't nobody happy.

Saturday, January 28, 2012

Talking Dogs

A pig says "oink";
That's all he'll say
And every horse
Knows only "neigh."
Consider ducks
Who "quack" each day
Or cows as well,
On "moo" they'll stay.

But dogs have depth,
A repertoire,
Myriad ways
To speak with pow'r.
Dogs "bow wow;"
They "arf" and "bark."
They often "howl."
When it gets dark.
Dogs, at times
As is their wont,
"Growl" at folks
A canine taunt.
Finally, when
Contentment's here,
Dogs say "woof"
And scratch their ear.

Friday, January 27, 2012

Bony and Nervous

The nervous squirrel, he looked at me,
Then skittered up a nearby tree.
He paused a sec, and looked back down.
I thought a saw a furry frown!
"Go on," I said, "You've naught to fear.
You're far too thin.  I fancy deer."

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Your Humble Poet Laureate

Perhaps I should mention that the newly elected mayor has just named me Poet Laureate of The MOB.  What is the MOB?  It is the Minnesota Organization of Bloggers.  (Technically I now live in Iowa, but rules aren't stringent.)  In the wake of twitter and other e-fads, the MOB isn't what it once was, but it still is a means for bringing folks together and I like that.

Is this a great honor?  Why yes, of course it is!  And it is also pure tomfoolery of the best sort.  In that spirit, I will have to write some laud or ode to the Mayor.  But not today.  This prose just takes it out of me.

Beware Grandmothers Bearing Sleds

My son was a-sliding this morning
Upon the slick crust of the snow.
He got a strong push from his grandmim
And into the flagpole did go.
It's alright, his head wasn't broken,
Just badly bruised on both sides.
She says she is sad,
(Though she's quite clearly bad,)
And is itching to give him more rides.

Tuesday, January 24, 2012


The beautiful sunrise I missed
Was boring as boring can be
For I didn't see a darn thing
And really it's all about me.

Monday, January 23, 2012


When a bell rings
It might be a number of things:
Someone's at the door,
A boxer's on the floor.
An angel got her wings?
Well really, that's a bore.
Sure, some angels fly
Like those who flew in Luke,
But what of all the others?
This thing must be rebuked.
Wings and angels go together
Like Indians and feathers.
Some have 'em; okay that's great.
Others don't, and are still first rate.

Saturday, January 21, 2012


The humbug is the insect
Of the body politic.

Friday, January 20, 2012

"Ha, ha, ha," he explained.

In he swooped with reckless wind,
Old man winter living large.
Asked by many to rescind,
He just laughed.  They said "Argh."

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Don't Taunt the Winter

Old man winter wasn't dead
But lying quietly in bed.
Now he's roused and eating brunch.
Next he comes for you for lunch.

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Abigail and Esther

In the space of twelve hours a birth and a death,
The giving of life and the taking of breath,
Joy in the wonder that's finally beheld,
And grief that one loved will now be withheld.

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

The Snow of Stereotype

On the Midwestern plains a light dusting of snow
Does stereotypical things: it swirls and blows.
Rarely does it rise up and smack you on the face
Nor play poker with the dawn, trumping with aces.
It's rather like an old school character actor;
Predictably playing his role, not much of a factor.

Monday, January 16, 2012

Historic Nursery Rhymes

This little piggy went to market
This little piggy stayed home.
This little piggy liked Carthage.
And this little piggy liked Rome.
And this little piggy went, "Gah!  Alaric and his barbarian invaders!!!"

Saturday, January 14, 2012

Abigail Rose (born 1/14/12)

The first one came, a lumbering boy,
Who had no hurry in his bones.
One day crossed o'er into the next
And then another he condoned.

This baby girl now born today
Came thund'ring fast, her mission clear.
Her mother gasped, and cried aloud
For there she was, our daughter dear.

Friday, January 13, 2012

An Exhortation

Socks are best when worn in twos
So take good care you do not lose

Thursday, January 12, 2012


A walnut is an unstately thing,
Awkward and hemispheric
Like a small, edible brain.
Care for some walnut?

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Many Ways to Wait

Ad almost infinitum (it seems)

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Compare and Contrast

Tasty and orange
Always dried
Tasty and orange
Never dried

Human folk
Creation of God
Very good
Human folk
Creation of God
Big stinkers

Monday, January 9, 2012


Dormant or dead flies
Don't buzz around nor pester.
Long live Wintertime!

Saturday, January 7, 2012

Some Days the Tired Just Catches Up

Fatigue had found him from far-flung places
Heavy burdens bearing down
Like big-boned monkeys lacking social graces
All of them out on the town.
What weariness - winsome clubbing of his head.
Sighs descended from his lips and fled.

Friday, January 6, 2012

Unitary Seasons

There's Summer this Winter;
There's spring in my toes.
And if there were water
It wouldn't be froze.
Lacking this ice
I'm unlikely to fall.
And mostly I'm thinking,
"This ain't bad at all."

Thursday, January 5, 2012

The Twelfth Day of Christmas

John Bonham
Keith Moon
Nick Mason
Ringo Starr
Charlie Watts
Ollie Peacock

To find a dozen drummers drumming
Don't go looking in my mind.
I can only conjure six,
That's halfway there.  Who more to find?

I give up.

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

The Eleventh Day of Christmas (A Carpenter's Envy)

Back on the job site
Winter days would break my skin
Howling winds would slip right in
Whether dark or light

All the carpenters 
Bundled to keep the frost off
Hands cracking, painfully rough
Break time 'round heaters

Walls and roof complete
In walk comfy pipefitters
No need for jacket critters
Now ain't that a feat?

Pipers in leisure
Happy and deliberate
Lacking much -if any- grit
Their work all pleasure

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

The Tenth Day of Christmas

The census in this fair country
Reveals a total lack of lords,
Dancing or otherwise.

Christian confession yields but one, 
Arisen.  Again to arise.

Monday, January 2, 2012

The Ninth Day of Christmas

When Esther and Mildred and Gertie and Fran
Have all their sights on the hand of one man
Chaos ensues on the floor of the ball
Punches are thrown and the police are called.
These ladies, dancing, all elbows and knees
Are jealous as wildcats, but eager to please
Wishing to polka and two-step and twist
Looking for gentlemen them to assist.

Sunday, January 1, 2012

The Eighth Day of Christmas

Cows these days have it rough.
Once there were maids to empty their udders,
But now just machines, cold and tough.
No doubt, in darkest cow dreams, there are shudders.