Friday, November 30, 2012


Lets go surfin' now.
Everybodys learning how.
Come on and safari with me.
(come on and safari with...)

At Huntington and Malibu
They're shooting the pier.
At Rincon they're walking the nose.
We're going on safari to the islands this year;
So if you're coming get ready to go.

Monday, November 26, 2012

The Foolish Knights

Sir Bill is riding on a horse
Sir Jedediah too.
They each have sticks of sharpened wood
So what d'ya think they'll do?
Show caution lest they cause a wound?
Be circumspect and wise?
Alas, but no, these dimbulb knights
Are aiming at each other's eyes!
No doubt there's one who'll rue the day
And cry to his own mommy dearest,
"Twas fun and games, the merest play!"
And her, "A fool thou dost appearest."

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

The Secret Lives of Monks

Medieval ergonomics being what they were
Monks would get terrible backaches.
They'd sit slouched under arches in order to incur
This pain, and after lie awake
The night through, except when they rose to chant sweetly,
Or were they, (be it not so!) fakes?!
Such cynical thoughts might be par for the course lately,
But should be left to fools and rakes.
No, they sang through the pain at all hours of the night
They grimaced under cowls til the dawn's first light.
And said not a word of those knots in their backs
Except for the occasional spasmodic attacks.

Saturday, November 17, 2012


The pestle is the stick, you see,
The mortar is the bowl.
Put some grain inside and "Whee!"
You're ready now to roll.

Crush the grain with vigor
Give it all you've got
Grind it into powder, man,
As you surely ought.

Think of doing justice!
Think of righting wrong!
Think of rank iniquity
And crush it with a song!

Friday, November 16, 2012

My Wife - The Not-Nun

My wife is not a nun
She isn't in the habit
Of abbeys she knows none
Though Abby and her rabbit
Are both there on her lap
And singing baby rap.

My wife is not a sister
But has a little Patience
For living with a ginger
As one of your relations
Is trying for religious too
But she'll press on and make it through.

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Art Garfunkel's Hair

Have you ever thought about Art Garfunkel's hair?
Is he balding, do you think?
Or is his hairline receding?
My wife swears it's the latter,
Though it doesn't really matter.
At least, that's what I was conceding
When I left to fill her drink.
Have you ever thought about Art Garfunkel's hair?

Friday, November 9, 2012

Byzantine Slang Talkin'

The sainted fellow, at the meeting,
Raised his hands in sacred greeting,
"What is up my homey fellow?"
Lamb said, "Feelin' kinda mellow."

Thursday, November 8, 2012


I love gorgeous Byzantine things.
I love knicked-up golden rings.
I love blue that stirs the heart.
I love tears before they start.
I love saints from days gone by
Though I don't have reasons why.
I love things with layered dust.
I love things that have some rust.
I love melancholy flame.
I love saying Jesus' name.
Sadness comes and broods by me,
But Jesus comes and sets me free.

Four More Years! (a political aphorism)

If at first you don't succeed, fail, fail again.

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

A Lament

Oh, what have we done?
Perhaps our race is finally run?
Perhaps we're near the end?
Or is it just another bend?