Just who is it that designs chairs? Judas? Mephistopholes?
Some cranky old guy who wants to undermine civilization
Because his dog has gout?
I struggle to understand
Why sitting should be so hard.
Mind you I'm not complaining
About hard chairs.
It's these infernal cushions,
Killing me with "kindness,"
Great slobbering marshmallows
Of gooey, upholstered fluff.
I want a chair that promotes righteousness,
A chair that declares itself for posture,
A chair that knows the law and does it
For the sheer pleasure of moral rectitude,
Not one that tempts my back to iniquity,
And whispers soft secrets of comfort.
Lies! Damnable lies!
Give me a chair that would curl the lips
Of the slovenly.
Give me a chair that would repel
The "workers" of sloth.
Give me a chair to make angels sing
And saints sit straight.
Give me Plato's chair,
The very thing,