Extreme Christmas Doggerel (part one)

The blowing snow and cold hold sway
In the fields of Ioway
When the winter settles in
And autumn skies are turned to gray.

People wear a second layer,
Then a third; then they feel gayer.
Muffled 'neath a mountainous garb
If people stare, well, who's to care?

Christmas comes with carols jolly,
Poinsettias, mistletoe and holly.
Cookies coming out your ears
And reaching to the point of folly.

Gather friends and family near
And share a bit of Christmas cheer.
Raise a song to chase the chill
And wait for carolers to appear.

Chet the Squirrel (with a Bob Costas subtext)

Chet was a normal kind of squirrel.
He ate nuts.
He chattered.
That is, until one day,
His life was shattered.
A demon-possessed gun
Desiring some fun
Possessed him.
And made him smoke.
And shoot stuff.
The moral of the story?
The 2nd Amendment is less equal.