Monday, November 15, 2010

Grope Away

I go to the airport
Whene'er I feel lonely
To get tingly feelings
From agents with wands.

They put me through scanners
And leer at my x-rays.
They pat down my privates
As if I've done wrong.

They need a good slapping
For they have forgotten
That we're not the problem
(But they just don't care.)

They'd rather prod me
Than risk offending
The dears who love terr'rists
The people at CAIR.

7 comments:

John said...

Ask Not what you can do for your government,
Ask what you are willing to let the government do for you!

If we would thunk through this whole security thing we would hire Nurses as TSA agents and we include the whole screening as part of your ObamaCare plan.

Bike Bubba said...

Call me weird, but when I want to be groped, I go to my wife! :^)

W.B. Picklesworth said...

John, airport colonoscopies sound like a great idea! If only we could find a way to squeeze even more fun into the same encounter... Maybe they could renew my driver's license?

BB, that is the joyful benefit of marriage! (One of them.)

Bike Bubba said...

Airport colonoscopies are a joyful benefit of marriage? "Welcome to MSP International....please make sure you have drunk your GoLitely and evacuated your colon BEFORE ...."

You are sicker than I thought, Ben! :^)

Oh, you meant....OK, never mind. :^)

Night Writer said...

MSP International: Home of the Wide Stance.

Anonymous said...

I suspect a lot of the TSA employees are not happy with their job, especially with people complaining so much.

W.B. Picklesworth said...

Anon, you are probably right. Which means their superiors are even guiltier of foolishness. It's a heavy-handed policy that is offensive and abusive to scads of people put in place with no evidence that it will accomplish what it purports to. But that's almost the definition of modern government. It seeks to solve problems that are beyond its ken, and fails spectacularly. It then asks for more money and power so that it can try to do better. The cows are out of the barn; it won't do better and needs to be held accountable.