Bridge of DOOM!

Spooky bridge out in the country,
Full of spiders, dark and gloomy,
May I never tread your timbers.
May your shadow never doom me.

Evil lurks in dark recesses,
Spinning spider webs so vile,
Venom seeps and oozes outwards
Seeking travelers to defile.

The Fall

Don't let anyone lie! Living water
Can toss you and bash you around.
The promise of God isn't swimming pools
But seeking the thing to be found.
It's not that his kingdom is hidden;
It's clear like pure water on rock.
Moving, demanding, and plunging ahead
To live with this water you'll have to be dead
To yourself, your pretensions and all.
The water will chute you over the fall.
And there, at that spot when you're out of control
His living water is quick'ning your soul.

Christmas Puzzle Potential

We were on a boat.
The boat was in a river.
The river was in France
Home of goosey liver.
Though the day was warm
The evening had a shiver.
Never mind, never mind.
Thomas Kinkade would approve.
Look at the lights by the Louvre!

Just to be clear, that isn't the Louvre. The Louvre is over to the left, just off camera. As for the title, I associate puzzles with Christmastime. Oh, and since the photo looks like a Thomas Kinkade painting I associate it with puzzles. I'm not sure if that's circular logic or just general confusion. Bye!

Pigeon Mafia

These pigeons are Italian Sicilian,
Three mafioso dons,
They're looking out for easy marks,
Rollovers for their cons.
"Nice jacket ma,am. T'would be shame
Were anything to happen.
Why doncha give me fifty bucks,
Insurance 'gainst birds crappin'?

A Stone Mustache

I'd like to grow a mustache
That's made of chiseled stone,
For facial hair is groovy
And full of pheromone.
I'd hang about in churchyards
And gaze at folks below.
Alas, it's empty dreaming.
For my wife has said "no."

Folsom Underground

I hear the train a-comin';
It's rattling in the Tube.
And I'm here takin' pictures
Like some Midwestern rube...
I'm here in London, England,
Honeymooning man.
But that train keeps a rollin'
North up to my Gran's.

Takin' a Spin 'Round the Lawn

Today's the day to mow the lawn;
I feel it in my bones.
I'll rev the engine mightily
And place the racing cones.
Then I'll tear from front to back
And back to front and then...
I'll cut the grass so placidly
That silent nuns would smile
And lend a hand with trimming
Cause every nun's got style.

Wandering Eyes

Our prez, well, he's not perfect.
No man ever was.*
I'm sure he says some cuss words
As most everyone does.
And I'm sure he ogles
And casts a closer eye
When pretty women cross his path
"My oh my oh my."

*There was one!