Nudist Hippie Attacked By Police

I try to live life by the seat of my pants,
To make quick decisions with flair.
I'm looking for ways that just might enhance
Every day by the things that I wear.
And so, as it happened, on a day just last week
I walked down the street quite not nude.
And up came a thought that I ne'er did seek,
A thought that some folks might think rude!
Off went my clothes and I flung them around
Till in freedom I galloped along!
Alas, twas short-lived; I was thrown to the ground
By an officer, brutally strong.

Bubble Wrap and Typing

I have a piece of bubble wrap.
The urge to pop is strong.
Please tell me popping bubble wrap
While typing isn't wrong.
My words per minute would slow down
And errors might abound,
But popping from the bubble wrap
Would make a wondrous sound!

Just Fruits

I'm growing rotten tomatoes
To harvest for use in the Fall
When pandering politicians
Will parade in all of their gall.
"Have some fruit from my harvest!
A reward for all that you've done.
I'll give you some more if you'd like 'em.
Otherwise, you might want to run."

Beware the Hem!

Crazy Mabel went to town.
Crazy Mabel bought a gown,
Put it on and pranced around,
Caught the hem and fell right down.
Crazy Mabel tried to frown,
But burst out laughing
Like a clown.  (not the sad kind)

;)

Birthday time
Is near upon us.
Birthday time
Is almost here.
Guess I'd better 
Get a present
Or my wife
Will box my ear.

A Visit

It's Sunday so we'll go to see the Savage* saints today.
We'll bring the baby just so they can see.
They were waiting for nine months and now it's time to say,
"Here's the bump! He's handsome just like me."

*I did my internship at a church in a town called Savage. 

Daddy Work

Some people ask if I'm weary.
Others just ask if I'm tired.
I just respond
That I'm growing quite fond
Of the cute little boy that I've sired.
Sure he requires attention
And rocking and soft-spoken words,
But my favorite task,
If you wanted to ask,
Is cleaning up after his turds.

The Blurry Duck (Quite Possibly the Lousiest Poem Yet!)

I saw a blurry duck
A-swimming in the water
And thought quick to myself,
"This sure is some blog fodder!"
Blurry ducks are riveting
And worthy of our time,
More profound than sandwiches
And surely more sublime.
So hail to you, o duck!
I thank you for essence.
Now eat that egg salad sandwich I tossed you
Before it turns into putrescence.

Vivos los Antes Muertos

We've got ants,
But not in our pants;
They come in the door
And march 'cross the floor
They get in the trash
And throw quite a bash.
Then I step on their heads
Till they're all deads.

Humidity Stinks

It's sticky like honey;
It's hot like a flame.
The weather 'round these parts
Is really a shame.
It makes us all sweaty
And weary and blah.
This unpleasant weather
Sure sticks in my craw.
So back to south Texas
Or where'er you came.
We're sick of your icky
Humidity game.

First Cuddle

Dearest child,
I finally have the chance to hold you,
To give you love I've been given
And to mold you,
To sing you songs that calm your fears
That testify to love.
To give you songs from ancient years,
The promise from above.

Little boy, you won't know all
The gifts that you've been given,
But they'll be with you, by God's grace,
The providence of heaven.

And so now, peace.  Peace.

Just Weird Really

I saw a young baby out walking one day
And asked him to tell me the time.
He looked at his wrist, then he pulled out a coin
And flipped me a nonchalant dime.
"Time for you, man, to be getting along
And cease from impertinent queries.
Go buy yourself a pound of hard candy;
I'm off to spend time with my dearies."

Arrival

We now have a baby
He's finally come.
He's crying and pooping
All over his bum.
He's cuter than buttons
And the knees of a bee.
My son is a keeper,
My first progeny.

Kyrie eleison.
Christe eleison.
Kyrie eleison.

Rip Van Baby

"Oh my, it's nice in here.
How pleasant just to rest.
Maybe I'll just hunker down
And make myself a guest.
Now I'm getting sleepy;
I think I'll close my eyes...
...
...
Oh my! Past due! Gotta go!
Goodness, how time flies!!!"

Clarification

As my wife so wisely clarified in the comment section of the previous post, everything is fine.  The baby is fine.  But the baby is still in the womb.  And that was the subject of the poems.  Voila.

Hope

There is a time
When hope starts to feel flimsy in your fingers.
"Maybe it's just a wish?"
Wishes are paltry things
Fit for movie screens,
But not for real hearts
Prone to breaking.


But hope, however flimsy,
Is much stronger 
Than every resource you can muster.
For it depends not on you
And wispy vicissitudes,
But on One who has promised.


And so I hope.
I hope that one day he will come,
Look up
And change everything,
A gift, 
A lesson,
God's love in human form.

Ache

It's never going to happen.
We've been suckered into thinking 
That a baby will arrive 
At or around a particular date, 
When in fact there is no baby. 
There is only the idea of a baby. 
Always and ever the idea, 
But never the reality. 

We will wait for him 
And hope for him, 
Take walks and talk of him. 
We have gathered up clothes 
And items to testify. 
But they are still clean 
And there is no smell of baby on them. 

We will be prepared to love, 
But never have the chance 
To hold, to kiss, to dote, to gaze. 

My heart is starting to ache.

The Step

I'm really not feeling poetic.
My mind is all elsewhere instead.
My thinkings are lightly frenetic,
And also quite solid like lead.
I'm looking off into the future
While pott'ring about in the now,
Getting brief glimpses of what I'm not sure
And wondering 'bout why? where? and how?
A step is about to be taken.
Is it scary or blissful or true??
Clearly these elements wrapped up in one;
And I'm taking that step now with you.

London Thoughts

London taxis
Fly around,
Leaving two wheels
On the ground.
Flags are draped
Along the way,
Celebrating
Queen Mum's day.
Clouds with sprinkles
Threaten us
As we ride
The tall red bus.